THE BETTER QUESTION GAME

A way forward when you don't know what to say

Figure out what you don't know — that's where the useful questions live.

Start with what you know from your direct interaction with this person. For each item, check how you know it: something you saw, heard, experienced, or read in something they communicated to you. If you inferred it — even if it seemed obvious — it belongs in WHAT I INFER. Then choose one unknown to explore and turn it into an open question you can ask them.

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FIRST

WHAT I KNOW

Write down at least three things you know about the situation.

For each one, ask How do I know? Think about your direct interaction with this person. Did you see it, hear it, experience it, or read it in something they communicated to you? If you inferred it — even if it seemed obvious — we'll move it to WHAT I INFER.

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NEXT

WHAT I INFER

Write down what you don't actually know: intent, reasons, feelings, possible context.

Include anything you're pretty sure about but couldn't really know without asking.

☆☆☆ Earn 3 stars and you're ready to turn an unknown into a question.
1

TURN AN UNKNOWN INTO A QUESTION

WONDER

Turn that unknown into a wondering.

2

MAKE IT ASKABLE

BUILD

Turn your wondering into an open question.

How and What are good places to start.

3

CHECK YOUR ASSUMPTIONS

TEST

Does your question contain something from your INFER list as though it's true?

If so, open it back up.

Were you angry? → How did you feel?
How does your question look?
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YOU'RE READY

THE QUESTION I'M GOING TO ASK

What's the question you want to take with you?

Take it with you

Save your completed game, or download the one-page blank worksheet to use offline.

Download blank worksheet